The Write Biz is Born

I would like to share, some experiences and perceptions about my own measurements of success and failure in my professional life that has led to my decision to develop my own on-line business…the-write-biz.com.  We have all experienced success in our lives, as too, failure.   I recently experienced a very disappointing situation while attempting to move up within the organization I currently work for which prompted me to really process and analyze my own definitions of success and failure. Over the course of my own professional life, I have held various jobs within three different careers.  The first in the retail grocery business; my second as an information technology professional; and my third, and current within a government agency.  All jobs had their own unique challenges and requirements and all were demanding, but at uniquely different levels.

I worked in retail for nearly ten years for a large grocery chain, based out of California in the early 80’s.  I worked from the lowest level in the organization up though every department, up to being responsible for balancing all the income and managing the customer service and front office functions.  Working this closely with the public for such an extended period of time, I had some reservations about committing to a managerial position within the company, though I was actively pursued and encouraged by my superiors to move into formal management of the entire store.  I always had a way of dealing with difficult people, no matter whether they were co-workers or the public at large, but it was something I really didn’t enjoy doing at the time.  So, I quit my job, went to school and learned all I could about computer systems, and thusly, my entrance into the IT profession in the early 90’s.

I began my twelve year career as an IT professional, much the same way I did in retail; from entry level, working as a computer assistant, performing the most basic operations, to ultimately becoming the Director of Information Services for a relatively large resort management and timeshare company.  I discovered early on again, I had a flair and undeniable capability for communicating and dealing with diverse and difficult individuals and groups. Only this time, I rather enjoyed the challenges of dealing with so many different personalities and building productive working relationships. I also discovered that I possessed a tremendous aptitude for grasping difficult technical concepts and information; putting it all together; and relating it back in both technical and non technical laymen’s terms to develop systems and build solid relationships with people the people I worked with.  Additionally, I discovered that certain workplace cultures existed that made it difficult for me to achieve my goals as an IT professional.  I took two years off and embarked on a completely new path with a government agency who shall remain nameless as I am prohibited from blogging or posting anything on the Internet regarding my work.

I decided that serving my county in this particular capacity was a worthwhile pursuit and I began working for this agency in September 2004.  Again, I started out at the entry level.  After one and one half years I was recognized and promoted.  Which brings me to my latest disappointment and previously perceived failure.

I have now been with the agency for nearly three and one half years and was pursuing a supervisory/managerial position.  Again, I had built solid, strong working relationships with both my superiors and subordinates and assumed additional responsibilities as a certified instructor.  From the time I applied for the position, I modestly admit that the overwhelming majority opinion was that I was the de facto candidate for one of the three positions available.  My attitude was always to never presume anything and that was what I attempted to communicate throughout the very lengthy decision-making process.As with any organization, there are cultures that exist that are beyond our control.  The organization I work for is certainly no exception.  I found out on Thursday that I had in fact, not been selected as one of the next Supervisors.  I was deeply disappointed, not only in myself, but also with the selecting official ultimately responsible for the final decision.  I was given numerous assurances and validations that I was unequivocally qualified and was one of the most effective and respected leaders and communicators within our organization. As I listened to his remarks, I couldn’t help being puzzled by all the commendation specifically laid upon me and I couldn’t help but wonder why this man made the decision not to promote me. He truly seemed uncertain about the success of one candidate in particular, but was totally willing and committed to assuring everybody in his formal announcements that his selections were the best candidates for the job. During our discussion, he conveyed how the rating system was established and how it was of his own making. Candidates were rated based on their KSA’s, narrative statements government jobs require that showcase a potential candidates particular knowledge, skills, and abilities in performing the duties specific to the job; their respective resume; their performance with the interview panel; and seniority with the agency (not necessarily in that order and weighted based on catagory).

As I pondered our discussion over the next couple of days, it occurred to me that perhaps I was not selected for the simple fact that I had not been with the organization for as long a period and there was a certain measure of weight placed on how long all the candidates had worked for the agency.  I was told of the top four candidates, of which, I was number four; we were all within 1 (one) point rating of one another.  It didn’t occur to me at the time, but all had been with the agency since its inception, which meant their respective start dates were two+ years prior to my own.  So, from my point-of-view, given the weight to the various measurements the panel used, I had a little more than half the time-in-grade as the other candidates and some considerable ground to make up based upon that requirement to score where I did.  So essentially, in my view, I out performed the others candidates in one or more of the other areas to have come so close in my overall rating.  I don’t consider any system we humans define in order to be fair to be free from flaws or bias to some degree, but when you work in government, the paradigm of fairness takes on an entirely new meaning. 

The longer I thought about this, the more I had to consider my own perceptual acuity in measuring the levels of integrity others posses, especially my superiors.  I had a tremendous amount of respect for this man and a strong professional relationship based out of trust but to me, he made a risky choice and a choice he clearly had reservations about as he explained his decision.  He developed the rating system, but he also possessed the authority to make a decision outside the rating instrument.  So, either he was just delivering a line, to make me feel better in the wake of disappointment, or he truly meant what he was saying.  Either way, the measure of trust I had placed in our professional relationship has been  deminished.  Which brings me finally to my own reconciliation to controlling my own destiny.

Through all the personal history I recite in this post about my own journey though my professional development, one thing remains constant in my mind.  I am the best candidate for the job of controlling my own professional destiny with a proven track record that will lead to success!  I have discovered where my strengths and weaknesses lye, and have learned, sometimes the hard way, to adapt and grow. Initially, I analyzed the defeat as a failure, but actually, as a fellow blogger recently quoted in his article, Fear of Failure and Home Based Business, “champions are born in the labor of defeat.”  I couldn’t agree more.  I have pondered starting my own business for years and have always used fear as an excuse not to do it.  But really, there is noting to fear, because you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  The options are undeniably clear to me by using my own career as an example; continue to allow others to arbitrarily determine my achievements and success based on tools or influences outside themselves; or allow myself complete liberation from the undeniable control of others by taking a ride on the wings of an eagle and soaring freely in the success and accomplishment of my very own making.  Which one would you chose?  I’ll take the eagle, I’ve come to far not to read the signs pointing me in my own direction. 

Far more to come!